Progress?

Be Yourself

         My friend put this on facebook today and I want to share it with you because it is TRUE!!!

OMG

A Jewish father sent his son to Israel so he could examine his roots and get a feel for the Holy land. Upon his Son's return, the Father asked, "Well my Son what did you think?"
The Son replied, "Oh Father, Thank you so much for the opportunity to visit the Holy land. I learned a lot of the culture and by the way I have converted to Christianity."
The Father was shocked but said nothing. The next day he went to see his friend and told him what had happened. He said, "I sent my Son to Israel and he liked the trip, but he converted to Christianity. I am not sure I did the right thing."
Unbelievable, the same thing happened to me!" replied his friend. I think we should go and have a talk with the Rabbi.
So the two men went to see the Rabbi. "Rabbi, we sent our Son's to Israel to educated them about our Holy land and when they returned they both informed us that they had converted to Christianity."  Did we not do the right thing?" The Rabbi stroked his beard and without an answer to this perplexing question, he suggested they prey.
The three men preyed and as if by a miracle God appeared to them and asked, "What troubles you?"
Well, we sent our Sons to Israel to learn of the Holy land and when they returned they had both converted to Christianity. Did we not do the right thing?"
"Funny you should ask", God replied. "The same thing happened to me!"

Humping

On our neighborhood connection e-mail web site someone wanted to know how the speed humps were working out on one of our busier short cuts. Now when ever I drive over a speed bump I think of speed humping. In everything one must slow down to really enjoy the ride.

Get Your Goat

http://i.imgur.com/vWqA8.gif


Mob Mentality

Not much Help

So sometimes I ask my husband for a funny for the blog. He always comes up with these ridiculous things. Here they are:

That's about as funny as a horse with a kickstand.
That's about as funny as a submarine with a screen door.
Big cats are dangerous, but a little pussy never hurt anyone.

 Seriously, I have been laughing for 35 years.

Attitude is Changable

Work it!

Adoption

Breath

There was a time that I spent about six weeks in the Hospital with my Sister. She needed around the clock care and the Nurses were wonderful but were grateful for my assistance. They gave me certain privileges like riding the staff elevator. One day I was returning from the salad cafe after lunch, I got on the elevator and two orderly who got on with a patient on a gurney. The patient was slumped, passed out with his head drooping to the side. The orderly at the foot of the gurney made a motion like he was turning a valve. The orderly at the head of the bed, reached down and turned the oxygen tank on. The patients eyes popped open and he straighted right up. None of us said a word. But I am sure that the look on my face was priceless.

Happy Mother's Day

This is my Mother-in-Law. She has been a Mother to me since I was seventeen. She taught me how to cook for a lot of people and not loose my cool. She taught me how to raise sons. She taught me patience and self confidence. She taught me about unconditional love and I have seen her touch many lives with her generosity and grace. Everyday I strive to be like her. She makes me laugh, she has a great sense of humor and a lifetime of wonderful stories. Some I have shared with you and there will be more to come. Today I just want to celebrate her and share her sunny face with you.

Concerned

         So this guy stuffs his pockets with the extra golf balls that he wanted to take with him to the driving range. When he got on the bus a nice looking blond kept looking at his bulging pockets. Finally the guy said, 'it's golf balls', to which the girl replied, 'Wow does it hurt, like Tennis Elbow'?

My friend Miriam told me this one.

Funny Guy

                                                             Got to love those subtitles.reddit credit

Wart a Thought

So one of my Son's purchased this product to deal with a wart on his hand. He was reading the warnings and directions aloud. When he got to the part that said for external use only, not for internal use, both of us cringed and thought Yuck.

They did it on Porpoise

http://elcomercio.pe/player/1384898


This happened on a beach in Brazil.
It's nice to see something that restores my faith in humanity. People just doing the right thing, problem solving, getting involved and not stopping until the job was done. So Cool!

Observed

         So my husband is driving through town with our Contractor going up to my Son's house to assess the work that needs to be done following the fire. They see a very well endowed Bodacious Babe walking up the street. When my husband noticed that our Contractor also spotted the girl, he said, 'Now that's why they call this Silicon Valley.'

Glue

Today I went with Kevin to a Guild meeting. One of the members is a very knowledgeable repairman who gave a two hour talk about Glue. As you can imagine it was about as interesting as watching glue dry, at least for me. I now know everything there is to know about Glue. I am a good wife and he agrees he owes me one.

Fiesta!

 Happy Cinco De Mayo!

Nice Ride!

I saw this bike on the way home tonight. I think it has a great design and the craftsmanship is outstanding. Don't you just love people with imagination? They make the world so amazing.

Nuts

So Walgreens advertised a new brand that they are offering. It is called Nice! They also advertised that there within their new brand they had the nuts on sale. So I walked into the store this evening and thought about asking where they were in the store and it hit me, I can't ask this young man where his Nice! nuts are. So I went to find them myself. The mixed nuts that is.

Calmer

reddit credit.                                This reminds me of today vs. yesterday.

Justice?

Well today was interesting. My ex daughter-in-law got picked up on a bench warrant for failure to appear in court concerning a hit and run accident. The Police called our son to pick up our grandson, his son because although it was the Mother's day to have him, she would be busy getting processed into jail. The police tell our son that he is to take his son to day care, which goes against the custody agreement. Our Lawyer tells us he doesn't have to take him to day care as he has the right per the custody agreement to have his son, if the Mother can't attend to him. Well it looks like her Mother posted her bail and by the time she got out of the police station she had the officers convinced that she needed a Civil Standby (officers to be present when she picked up her son from his father). They treated us like we were the ones that were suspicious. She breaks the law, evades arrest by moving and cutting her hair short, dying it black and giving the baby a Mohawk, she doesn't follow the court orders for the custody agreement, and lies and sweet talks her way through everything. She gets away with setting our son on fire, breaking into his home on several occasions, ignoring the custody agreement and making it all look like it is us. The police would not have caught her at all if the records weren't public information and we didn't figure out that she had the bench warrant in the first place.  If the tables were turned and our son did any of these things he would be in jail so fast, facing the loss of his son. This is not Justice. Isn't that so funny?