Nothing Funny About A War Breaking Out.

It is time to understand the statement above and start educating yourselves. We have lived with our heads in the sand for far too long.

Humor in Uniform

General -"Hello, Corporal I need an immediate count of any and all Vehicles in the motorcade at this time."
Corporal-"Well, There are currently 3 tanks, 5 armored transports, 8 jeeps, and 1 big black Cadillac that belongs to Fat Ass General Brown."
General- Corporal!, This is General Brown!"
Corporal- Sir, Yes Sir! Do you know who this is?"
General-No Corporal, I do not.
Corporal- Well bye bye Fat Ass.

Because if you can't laugh, then you cry and cry and wonder why. Happy Veterans Day to all who have served and sacrificed. 

My Favorite New Shirt

Man Hours

Missing In Japan

                             My friend went to Japan and we haven't seen him since.

Hello Cold Weather

                                                   And Thanks for the Rain!

Dad Jokes

1. I have a fear of speed bumps. 
I'm slowly getting over it. 

2. 
Dad: Be careful standing near those trees. 
Daughter: Why? The sky is clear and there's no chance of lightning. 
Dad: I don't know really. They just look kind of shady to me. 3. 
Nurse: Do you smoke? 
Dad: Only when I'm on fire.4. *Holding a stepladder* 
This is my stepladder. I never knew my real ladder.5. 
Dad: If you're cold you should sit in the corner. 
Me: Why? 
Dad: Because it's 90 degrees!6. *Reversing the car* 
Ahh, this takes me back. 7. How many apples grow on a tree? 
All of them.8. *Dad finds a suitcase in the woods filled with three raccoons. He calls the police.*
Dispatcher: This is 911, how can I help you? 
Dad: Hi, I just found a suitcase filled with three raccoons. 
Dispatcher: That's awful. Are they moving?
Dad: No. That would explain the suitcase, though.9. I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey. 
But then I turned myself around. 10. 
Me: I'll call you later.
Dad: Don't call me later, call me Dad.11. Grandad at my Grandma's funeral.
Me: Are you alright? 
Grandad: No, I'm half left.12. What do you call a man with no nose and no body? 
Nobody nose. 13. *A bug hits the windshield while driving* 
Bet he doesn't have the guts to do that again.14. 
Dad: You know a train has been through here. 
Me: How can you tell? 
Dad: It left tracks.15. Have you heard about the restaurant on the moon? 
Great food, no atmosphere.16. 
Me: Did you get a haircut?
Dad: No, I got them all cut.17. Two fish in a tank. One turns to the other and says, "How do you drive this thing?"18. Apparently, a man in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds. 

Poor guy.19. *I'm whining about something * 
Dad: Would you like a straw? 
Me: Why? 
Dad: So you can suck it up.20. Those are really special cows. 
They're outstanding in their field.21. How do you find Will Smith in the snow? 

You look for the fresh prints.

22. What do you call a fly with no wings? 
A walk.23. 
Dad: what are you drinking, son?
Me: Soy milk. 
Dad: Hola milk, soy padre.24. Why do chicken coops only have two doors? 
Because if they had four, they would be chicken sedans.25. A duck goes into a pharmacy and asks for lip balm.
Cashier: Certainly. Will you be paying for that with cash?
Duck: Can you put it on my bill?

Projection Psychology

                                                           Just Thinking Out Loud!

Slow Down!

Remember to Slow Down and take it easy. Laugh, be patient, take turns and for sure don't move faster than you can think.

So Spooky

                                                         Joshua's Kindergarten Class
                                          The most fun was making the costume with DAD!

Got Your Costume?

Holy Hula Hoop!

                                              I like to this God has a sense of humor.

Never Stop Learning

                                                 Even if your Sensei gets younger.

OH Bama!

This is a great Photograph. Someone is in deep doo doo.  You can see what each one is thinking. Every Family has been through exactly the same scenario. Credit to Shaun King

Go Bubba!

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized She was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, “Business trip or pleasure?”

She turned, smiled and said, “Business. I’m going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston."

He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen Sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs!

Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, “What’s your Business at this convention?”

“Lecturer,” she responded. “I use information that I have learned from my Personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.”

“Really?” he said. “And what kind of myths are there?”

“Well,” she explained, “one popular myth is that African-American men are The most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is That Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Mexican Descent who are the best. I have also discovered that the lover with Absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck.”

Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed.. “I’m Sorry,” she said, “I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don’t even know your name.”

“Tonto,” the man said, “Tonto Gonzales, but my friends call me Bubba".

How To Get Women Interested in Football

Sticking It To Them

Good Gollie Mr. Dali

33.MEDIA.TUMBLR.COM

Seemed appropriate after Kevin's bout with the eye Doctor Today.

School Shootings Not Funny!

I have been thinking a lot about these SCHOOL shootings and find that School is the operative word here. These are not just school shootings, they are suicides with anger at the injustices that these people feel have been perpetrated on them by the school system and the pressures put on them to succeed. Children are pushed, shammed, and brow beaten. They rebel. They feel that they have no future. Remember when you were in school and it felt like your whole world We didn't have the experience to know that it is just a beginning to life, that it is not the only determining factor to a happy life.
So, teachers are mandatory reporters of child abuse and are on the front line of humanity everyday. These teachers should have a way to refer the troubled children they see in their classes to professionals who can connect with them and refer them to the help they need or at the very least listen to them and advise them. I think this would cost less than a campaign for gun control.
These incidences are occurring all to often and I think we must rethink the way children are treated in our society. They are people, with feelings that are tender and fragile. They can be hurt and can hurt back. It is time to find a way to teach children that they can be a success in life what ever route they take, that happiness can be achieved in any color collar you choose to where. And that not all people are intended for Ivy league colleges and you are not a looser if you don't go that route.
These are Suicides with Anger and it breaks my heart.
School is different these days than when most of us were in school. When the bell rings for my 5 year old grandson, all the children stop and put their hands on their heads like little convicts. Maybe they are just training them for the free labor force we call prison. It's a scary proposition. Love, Mrs. Mad

French Fried Japananimatoes

A Couple of Swingers

                                       Some things never change, Thank God.

Bowling Stone

                                     Apparently his score gave him no satisfaction.

Stair Luge

Do You Really Know?

Super Moon Solar Eclipse

           We laughed at how old we will be at the next one. I am glad we didn't miss it this time.

A Lady After My Own Heart

Do Not Swallow

                             This advice may go without saying. At least I would have thought.

I had no idea.

Communism, Socialism, Seriously?

So I have seen many people praise Bernie Sanders and I am glad that he is taking votes away from Hilary Clinton. But Seriously, Socialism? I think when people are struggling, times are rough and some have, while others do not, that Socialism and Communism looks appealing. Why should they have all the money, when I don't have enough. I want what they have. But in America, you can start with nothing, no class, no money and work hard, get educated, and have what you want. This is not the case in many countries. Why do you think we have immigrants, legal and illegal? And unless you are native American your family immigrated to America in search of a better life, not a life the same as everyone else's, a better life. I am not for Socialism, I started with nothing and I like what I have. I have enjoyed the freedom to do things my way. I have worked hard, paid my taxes, and never asked my government for a thing, except to allow me the freedom to reach for my own stars. If you like keeping the money you work for instead of giving it away to your neighbor who never liked working much, even if you feel that he or she is not really trying or is strung out on drugs and alcohol, but was a wiz when it came to riding the system, then Socialism is not for you. In Socialism it is mandatory to give your earnings back to the government so everyone can have the same. No Thank You! It doesn't work. Ask the immigrants, educate yourselves, and start talking now! Before this insane joke we call our current race for Presidency takes away the one thing we can hold on to, OUR FREEDOM! This is Serious.

Can't Win For Loosing

No Bull...

Aracnak9

Well Maybe A Few.

New Child Safe Equipment

                                           It's all perfectly safe until you add children.

Oh Shit Duck!

That's Aboot it.

                                                                 Canadian Growth Chart.

While vacationing in Southern Washington, I spied a young family stand up paddling down the Columbia River. The Boys in front had paddles, but Mother was using a hockey stick. I couldn't resist asking, "What part of Canada are you from"? She replied, "Alberta", lifting the hockey stick up and laughing.

Potted Pets

Wilde

This photo was taken today of a major rock slide in Ohio. Sources have confirmed once they removed the boulder they found the remains of a coyote underneath. Witnesses say they saw a roadrunner speeding away quickly from the scene just after impact.

Cool Cat, or is that Dog?

Baby Poem

Baby crept to Uncle Joe.

Bit him hard upon the toe.

Uncle kicked out straight and ruthless.

Now our little baby's toothless. 

That About Sums It Up

Masking The Truth

Do They Have Slurpees?

 And in Thailand

And then again one better in China.

Sacrafice

                                                               It's what you do.

More Positive

Classic Green Army Figures Practicing Yoga Instead Of Holding Guns – by Dan Abramson

I Love the Positive, Peaceful take on these little green men. 

Parenthood

Hmmm

                                                              Then whose is it?

Past or Presence

Three Cross Eyed Amigos Walk Into A Bar....

                                               Everyone started laughing and never stopped.

                                                    Thank you Carl Reiner, Mel Brooks and Dick Van Dyke.

CAPITALISM

I love it when I see this kind of mindless Hypocrisy

. People like the sound of Socialism but it is not their 

nature to live peacefully within its confines. 

Walgreens is at it Again!

                              Really? Cotton balls? It's almost as bad as your Nice nuts.

What Do You Call A Nun in a Golf Cart?

Virgin Mobile

On Your Mark, Get Set, Uh Oh

In Their Opinion

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

SARAH PALIN: The chicken crossed the road because, gosh-darn it, he's a maverick!

BARACK OBAMA: Let me be perfectly clear, if the chickens like their eggs they can keep their eggs. No chicken will be required to cross the road to surrender her eggs. Period.

JOHN McCAIN: My friends, the chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON: What difference at this point does it make why the chicken crossed the road?

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or against us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white?

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he is acting by not taking on his current problems before adding any new problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross the road so badly. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a NEW CAR so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way the chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2014, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2014. This new platform is much more stable and will never reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

Always Dress Appropriately

Safe, Unsafe, or Insane?

Go Grandpa!

                                            Don't underestimate people with white hair.

Before and After

           



         Happy Birthday Becky! Yeah Buddy!